Chicken Fingers

Mary told me she was hungry and that she wanted to get chicken fingers from White Castle. I always thought you could get chicken fingers from White Castle, I guess I was wrong.

Just joking, she actually got engaged to the man working at White Castle, he couldn't afford a wedding ring so he thought this was suitable. "A relationship bonded by chicken"

"Four Loko"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXgm01r_wBU&feature=related

Doesn't Loko mean crazy in some foreign language?

"Oh really..." Of the Week

O really kid that might be 12, might be 20, might be 15, might be 70, you really are the best at lip syncing. I thought you were Ke$ha for the entire three minutes and thirty five seconds of your new video, you really do deserve to be an Internet sensation. Honestly I like seeing you sing that song rather than that hooker Ke$ha.

I have one question and one question only for you kid/man/teen...

Do you have legs?

Quote of the month #1

Thanks to my good friend Matt McCormick, I have come up with a new segment on the blog. "Quote of the Month"

Last night after a long night of consuming alcoholic beverages, my friends and I had arrived at our last party of the eventful evening. Matt, who was already painfully intoxicated and two puking episodes in, continued to drink very heavily.

11:32 p.m.- We arrive at the party still chanting pussy to Matt because he puked out of the car just a second ago...we tell all of our friends about what happened.

11:48 p.m.- Matt is noticeably more intoxicated since the time we arrived.

12:02 a.m.- Matt falls down.

12:03 a.m.- Matt falls down again, I announce that I will bet any money that Matt pukes later, Justin quickly obliges.

12:15 a.m.- Matt gets up from sitting down outside, he appears to be walking as if he is trying to balance a washing machine on the top of his head, as he walks he begins to puke every five steps. Justin and I high five each other because we "Called it." Matt stumbles behind a shed and some one comments, "Man he is going to be puking all night long." We all agree.

12:16 a.m- A loud crash comes from behind the shed, this is Matt. We all rush over to check and see if Matt is still conscious...he is.

12:17 a.m.- Matt is laying in weeds and will not sit up, Justin announces to Matt that if he doesn't cooperate he will beat the fuck out of him...Matt sits up.

12:19 a.m.- We decide to take Matt inside, as we walk through the house we notice something on Matts shirt, turns out its blood. I look at Matts elbow and it is pouring out blood, I think to myself wow this is fucking crazy. We take Matt out front to figure out how he is bleeding like this.

12:20 a.m.-Justin tells Matt to sit down, Matt won't sit down because, "I'm fucking fine guys!" Justin swings at Matt and misses on purpose, Matt sits down.

12:21 a.m.- Turns out Matt has a hole in his arm that is pouring out blood, I'm no genius but I think it is from the fall that he took.

12:23 a.m- We have to help Matt to the car because his ability to walk has gone out the window.

12:27 a.m.- Matt pukes out of the window of the car.

12:29 a.m.- Matt says the quote of the month after puking for a second time, he pulls his head back into the car and says, "Like this is only because I go to Meramac."

Reincarnation

I don't believe in reincarnation, but if it is true I think I was black in my past life, not just because I have a huge penis, but because I get really nervous around police officers whenever I see them.

Johnny Bravo goes to Fontbonne University

Edited Pic

Internet link of the week #6

Man what a smart wigger.

http://www.break.com/index/kid-accidentally-shoots-dads-ak-47-indoors

"Oh really..." Of the Week

Oh really The Untouchables, for the longest time I thought Sean Connery was just an irish prick with a good accent, man was I wrong. Oh and by the way Kevin Coster I was waiting for you to play baseball the entire movie, and guess what you didn't. Anyway that mother fucker Al Capone had it coming though.

Polo T Shirts

It has become an epidemic in high schools and colleges all across the United States of America. It is a solid colored shirt with nothing else on it but a tiny polo horse on the breast of the shirt. At first you would see someone wearing it at a party every once in a while, and then it happened. Next thing you know there are 24 different pastel colors of plain polo shirts getting worn at the same party. Don't think that you can get away with going to a party these days with a polo shirt on and not match some one else, because I have seen matching polo shirts at parties all to much. Its very popular but I'm sure it will fade out just like all the other old trends such as: New Balance shoes, and popped collars.

A couple of my friends wearing polo shirts at the same party,

not matching, but you get the idea.

Pee Pants

Intentionally peeing in your pants is the worst best feeling ever.

Multch

Fontbonne apparently had landscapers put in a whole bunch of new mulch all around campus today in the flower beds, and around trees to make it look a little better, but it definitely didn't make it smell any better thats for gosh damn sure. It essentially smells like the landscapers shit into all of the flower beds instead of putting mulch into them. I don't understand people who decide to put mulch in their gardens, it smells like rotten feces, and it only looks good for a second, by the time it stops smelling like shit, it starts to look like shit. Then we have to go through that same process over and over.

So do the right thing and get fucking rock!

Boobs

If straight guys love girl's boobs,
does that men gay guys love man boobs?

Edited Pic

Internet link of the week #5

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxeYXyPv6lA&feature=channel

Tay Zonday Killin it!!!!

And I thought Chocolate Rain was a one hit wonder...boy was I terribly wrong.

This was a comment on one of his videos, I think it's laugh worthy:

"Oh really..." Of the Week

O really Lady Gaga? A bacon dress? I guess you really are a cunt. I never thought bacon could be put to bad use, but you obviously proved that to be entirely wrong last night.

Ps. you had a fucking steak on your head too, I hate you.

Hey Lady Gaga guess what three things I used to love, but now I don't because you ruined them?

1. Music

2. Bacon

3. Steak

I can't believe a pig had to be killed so you could wear it on your filthy tits.

Sincerely,

Steve

Springfield Police

At first I thought it was a SWAT team, then I realized it was only the Springfield Police. They waited until the darkness of the night to seize the party, hoping to take some arrogant college kids directly to the slammer. For crying out loud they tackled a black man on crutches because they claimed "He was holding two very long shotguns to hold himself up." I looked one in the eye and he threatend to put me away for 28 years. All I know is that I ran as far as I could, and where I ended up I will never know.

So dont F with the Springfield Police!

Twins

I hope that when I decide to have kids, I have identical twins. Not many people know this but when you have identical twins you get two things for the price of one. When you begin to send your child to catholic school they are still very young, so you name them the same name and send them to school every other day as one kid. Then, when the one kid gets home he can tell the other one what they did in class on that day and vice versa. Think about that it's like a getting a quality catholic education buy one get on free, who can pass that up!

...I'm pretty sure thats not illegal.

Black

I wish that like once a week I could be black for one day. I would just like pick what day and then I would be black for 24 hours. That would be so cool.

Stairs

Now days we have so much new technology that is so bizzare and advanced, im not sure what more we could possibly come up with. Think about some of the shit people have invented: a robot vacuum cleaner, the moblie phone, uh...computers, Ipods so small that you could lose them for a week if you put it into your pocket, and so on and so forth. For gods sake the Iphone has an application were you can hold it to a speaker that is playing a song and it will tell you the song. Yea, it actually can do that. It seems like just yesterday that when we would hear a song we liked on the radio that we didn't know, we just had to wait for it to come back on. Oh wait, THAT WAS ALMOST JUST YESTERDAY! Macintosh only comes out with new technology every 4 seconds.

Everyone is so busy jacking off Steve Jobs, and Thomas Edison for Apple computers and light bulbs that we forget about even simpler inventions. I bet your thinking: "Steve what are these simple inventions you speak of?" Hmm I don't know maybe the STAIRS, last time I checked we use the steps everyday and so far it has been a pretty solid invention, it hasn't failed us yet since like 8,000 b.c. Maybe the fucking wheel, we always talk about the invention of the wheel but guess what we never talk about Johnny Wheel, the founder of such a succesful invention. Or the more modern invention that has been sweeping the nation ever since it was created, the guy that decided it would be cool to add an a after the word hell, thus creating "hella." These molders of our great country have gotten lost in the mix over the years, so show them a little respect.

I know one this is forsure, these forgotten inventors are "hella" cool.

Edited Pic

Internet link of the week #4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZD1lZP9TJP4&feature=related

Doug Benson, he is star from the film Super High Me, and he is one funny mother fucker.

"I've been smokin the I can't find my keys weed."

"Oh really..." Of the Week

Oh really Brendan Fraser, Furry Vengeance? We let Journey to the Center of the Earth slide, but this is the last fucking straw. Why does that raccoon know how to properly operate a garden hose, and if you are not careful that grizzly is going to put his cock up your butt. You did wonders in the film Encino Man, after the first time I watched it I was convinced you were a caveman for years after. But this, this makes me want to get sprayed in the nuts with cold water by a wild raccoon.

Offical Trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CimpBqZoiQ

I guess the director was really interested in having Brendan Fraser getting squirted in the privates with things.

2012

Dear Earth,

Please don't end in 2012, I will appreciate it.

Sincerely,

Steve Raines

Old Technology

At one time is our lives we all owned a N-64 or Sega Genesis, that is just a fact. Also, we all were taught by our elders that when the game decides not to work for some reason, we take it out, give it a swift blow, and reinsert the game cartridge for guaranteed results. It always worked, bottom line. Why cant that be the case with more modern technology, we even try it and just wish it will be like our old game systems. O really my phone doesn't work? I'll just take out the battery blow on it and put it back in i'm sure it will work...it never works. O really computer you have a virus? I'll just blow on you and you better start working...it wont start working.

One day I want to wake up in a world were just blowing on broken things fixes them. Car doesn't start? Blow on it, it will start. Broken arm? Blow on it, it will heel

Thirsty Thursday

If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe
I'ld been married long time ago
Where did you come from where did you go
Where did you come from Cotton-Eye Joe

Pet Peeve

I hate when you see someone that knows you, and knows you know them. And you know that they know that you know them, and they know you. And then they don't say hey, or act like they know you.

That pisses me off