Toilet Paper

Today as I pooped I began to think of the roll of toilet paper. Who landed on the size of those squares? I don't think I have ever taken a poop and only tore off one or two of those 4 inch x 4 inch squares to wipe my butt. If you only used one I think you would end up touching your own poopy butt. Im thinking about starting a petition to send to toilet paper companies to lengthen the size of the squares to really long rectangles of about 17 inches. That would give the average poop wiper plenty of paper to double fold (If your one of those people), or do the crumble technique (If your one of those idiots.) Im a strong advocate for the fold and role technique instead of the crumble. The crumble is good for keeping your hand a safe distance away from the poop, but its not effective in helping the environment because you only really get one good wipe at a time, two if your lucky. That is just a textbook waste of paper goods.

So next time you wipe people, fold and role. Its the least you can do.